I'm the bride in this scenario.
Yup, for real - I got married 3 months ago!
To my surprise, one of the most challenging parts of the whole wedding planning process was finding THE ONE.
Not the life partner.
I wasn't expecting that this would be a struggle. I didn't grow up fantasizing about this day and I'm pretty low key fashion-wise (read: stretchy yoga pants on the daily).
Who knew that finding a dress that:
looks good and feels like “me”,
is comfortable for a full day of wedding fun,
is NOT a million (okay, thousands) of dollars,
...would be so challenging.
Not just that, but every single bridal shop employee assumed that I was going to lose weight before the wedding.
One even asked -albeit tactfully- if it’s probable that I’ll be gaining weight.
If I had had this experience a few years ago my body shame and insecurities would have skyrocketed with so many people commenting and having opinions about my weight.
Plus, with dissecting every curve of my own body in the mirror… having my girlfriends, mom, and sis watching me change… and poking and prodding at the places to “highlight” and the areas to strategically “hide”...
I would have fallen into a swirl of stress about my body.
And then I would’ve buckled down:
“For the next 4 months I’ll go to the gym every day and double my treadmill time!”
“No more sugar!”
“Take measurements and lose 3” around my waist!”
Inevitably going about it in this way would always lead to counterproductive bingeing and bleary eyed exhaustion.
Not only that, but I would struggle silently and feel isolated and alone in this “lose weight and get in shape for this special event” race.
And then at the event, even after going to extremes, I’d still try to strategically hide my stomach or my arms when the camera came around.
But here’s the thing: on my wedding day I knew all eyes were going to be on me and naturally, I WANTED TO LOOK + FEEL MY BEST!
Yes, of course, I want to rock toned arms in my strapless gown!
Yes, of course, I want to look healthy, vibrant, and bright in my wedding photos!
Yes, of course, I want to stand up in front of my closest family and friends and say sweet things and make commitments to my partner.
...and holding in my stomach is the last thing I want to be thinking about during those moments.
Have you ever experienced something like this?
This isn’t really about wedding prep or dresses.
This is about anytime you have a special event, a beach vacation, or tank top season on the horizon and you start to freak out about our body.
This is about anytime you’ve said, “I have one month to lose 10 pounds!” and started a strict diet + workout plan, only to stop at day #3 and beat yourself up about it.
You don’t have to beat yourself up to get in shape and your life doesn’t have to revolve around calories in/calories out.
When I started studying mindfulness and yoga, I became determined to find a BALANCED approach to fitness.
I began to create a system with workouts and mindfulness practices that would build strength and flexibility, release body anxiety, and feel manageable for a busy schedule.
This system became the 21 day program and it's supported over hundreds of people from all over the world find EASE + KINDNESS in their fitness lives.
People who have been through the program say things like:
Latin Lover (my now husband) and I did the 21 day program with everyone last Spring so we could kickstart our "wedding fitness" and feel our best (and most sane) ;) at our nuptials this summer.
It was a blessing!
Want to join in with us to build your strength + confidence (and to leave the body anxiety behind)?
To proud, confident, strong, flexible bodies! ;)
PS - tl;dr...
The quickie version: In the end, I did find a great wedding gown and I wasn't stressed about losing/gaining weight because I practice what I preach in the 21 Day program.
I'm inviting you to do this program along with me, so you can get stronger and more fit in way that is manageable in your schedule and puts an end to this 'beating yourself up' cycle.
I'll be doing it along with you starting this Monday!
Hiya, I'm elyse!
I'm a personal trainer, fitness coach, and yoga teacher who gets people moving with in-person training and my signature online 21 day workout program. I want to help people drop the guilt/shame game around exercise and start working out with ease and kindness. When I'm not doing squats and sun salutations, I'm dressed up in vintage lindy hop dancing or gathering other Lovely Lady Entrepreneurs to talk about their careers and living their most passionate lives. Start moving with me today with these FREE stretch breaks you can do to feel more energized and aligned during your day! - stretchbreak.elysesparkes.com
It's FREE and you'll also get to join into our Fit & Flexible community!